Rambling Slice

I realize life flies by and sometimes you have to drop things, but with school back in session I have no excuse not to post an update (I can't use the "I'm raising nine kids" excuse forever). It's just I've really been wrestling within myself. I want to shout from rooftops and what I want to shout needs to be forgotten. I want to be better, I want to help others be better. I can't do this when I want to fight and play nasty. I am tired and it would be so easy. I can't. It wouldn't be the righteous anger that is justified. It would just be anger. So I am praying for a little more strength.
The kids are happy and adjusted to this life. Greg and I are mom and dad, because little ones just need that and when everyone else calls us Mom and Dad, it feels right to them. We bathe them, read to them, say prayers with them, kiss their booboo's and set limits that make them feel secure. We are responsible for them and don't ask for their love. I like to think that we are trying so very hard to earn it, especially from those we have to be hardest with (ie, the preteen). We don't want to be their best friends, we want to teach them, and love them, and be hard on them so they'll have the self discipline some day to say, "I'm a child of God. I'm better than what this world wants me to be."
Have I confused enough of you? Then you know how I feel. Greg and I strive to be the best people we can and then reach a little further. We study and grow daily. We learn new things and always put our children first, all of them. Seeing others who don't confuse us and frustrate us. But we pray for them, what more can we do?
Just some ramblings, don't mind me.

Happiness is. . . rambling to understanding.